2020 brought so many redirections although we are just staying at home while finding ways to cope with our daily lives.
To everyone who still managed to stay employed or stay preoccupied with things that they love to do, I am truly happy for you.
To you who struggled with so much this year, I am proud of you for hanging in there. Brighter days are coming. Opportunities are on your way.
This page is special for it is a space where I’m sharing little gifts to let you know that you are not alone.
These videos are for you. For you who struggle with sleep, staying calm, staying focused, or if you are someone who just wants to escape reality and get lost in the wonders of music.
Watch out for new videos each week! Sending you lots of love and light. 💖🌻
It was not until the time my phone fell under my bed that I found my long-lost favorite pen. I tossed almost everything upside down in my room last month just to search for it, but I guess it’s just wasn’t time.
Then it suddenly struck me how life is like finding your missing pen. On the first days it went missing, you’ll go crazy looking for it and then one day, you’ll get tired and just let it be.
You’ll just come to terms with thinking maybe it’s gonna appear when you least expect it.
We all have dreams. Things that we wish to do before our time runs out. And I’ve learned that we must not force things to happen no matter how bad we want it.
Because in the end, TIME decides if you are ready for it. So, do what you gotta do. Focus on improving yourself and doing things that matter more at the moment.
Every circumstance brings you closer to what you truly deserve. If someone or something is truly meant for you, you don’t have to rush things because God knows when the time is right for you to have it.
It is absolutely normal to not accept this fact at first. Because it is frustrating, and we can’t just let it go. We always want to go after what we want and we don’t care how much we put into finding those things.
They say, “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it.” It is true- if it is not overdone. We thought sometimes that what we want is for us but that is not always the case. You’re lucky if it is. So just let time decide it for you.
Start working on yourself and do not force things to happen. What is meant to be yours, will always be yours in the end. If things don’t work out while you’re finding something or chasing that dream, try to step back and take a look at the lessons these circumstances are trying to make you understand.
You may not have what you wanted but the Universe gives you what you are meant to have and it is always greater than what you expected. We may search for things in the wrong places, but God aligns us towards the right path. So, don’t sweat it and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Breathe and know your true self. Take what you can in the process.
I’m not gonna lie, ever since the start of this lockdown, my anxiety cup continues to overflow just by seeing posts or watching the news about the fight against this virus.
The discrepancies laid out by different sources of how all of this is handled is causing much trouble and I think I speak for most of us.
According to the World Health Organization, there are currently over 8 million confirmed cases of COVID-19. As a Medical Laboratory Scientist, I understand the responsibility our health workers carry over their shoulders.
I cannot help but feel the emotional roller coaster they and all other essential workers are feeling in this current situation although I am not practicing my profession.
We all want the remedy to be made as soon as possible and especially, we want our normal lives back. But the question is, are we ever going to have it back? We are expected to adjust in the “new normal” and just like that, our world suddenly changed.
This whole new version of our lives does not seem new to me. Due to my illness, I mostly have to stay at home and over time, I got used to it.
I totally understand why some still find it hard to grasp our new way of living.
This pandemic is taking its toll on us every day. It is affecting our daily emotions, actions, and our perspective.
The lack of information being given by authorities and the uncertainty of when all of this will end makes us feel trapped and powerless which causes almost everyone especially people living with mental illness to be in a bad shape.
It is absolutely unsettling to exist at this time.
This event is drastically different than just simply staying at home. So many people have lost their jobs, Businesses are shutting down, died without their loved ones beside them and all of us just itching for the perfect cure.
As the doors slowly open to welcome us amidst this global issue, we can’t help but worry and overthink over the little things like the things we touched or are the people we’ve come across surely not suspected virus-carriers.
There is nothing more we could do than to take the extra measures to make sure we are mentally and physically healthy during this lockdown.
In the hopes of trying to lessen the anxiety, here are some friendly reminders that I share with you to stay safe and healthy:
1. Declutter your mind and talk to someone you trust
Day by day we are all pushed through this new age norms and it seems like we cannot do anything but ride along. It is important to share your concerns however small they are, to someone you trust.
We may not have the small intimate gatherings with people close to our hearts, but everything is digital – all thanks to modern day technology that we could reach them through chats and video calls.
2. Take breaks from watching/reading the News related to the outbreak
I feel like we are all programmed to remember the bad sides of the story every time we watch the news. Articles from left and right, filled with conflict and confusion and less about the positive facts. So, if you are feeling uncomfortable scrolling through your feed and you see nothing but updates and misleading information about the pandemic, it is okay to get rid of it for a while. Make sure to only rely on official information.
Focus on the positive updates or watch something funny or uplifting just like this one here.
3. Take good care of your body
Stress affects our body. We might unknowingly spiral into unhealthy behaviors to cope with the outbreak’s impact in our mental health.
I suggest you move your body to release the tension in your mind. Go for a quick exercise that could be done inside the house or watch some videos that could help you relax or meditate.
Eat healthy and nutritious food filled with antioxidants to boost your immune system. Wearing mask alone won’t help fight the virus if you’re constantly consumed by your unhealthy eating habits. It would also be best to steer clear of addictive substances like alcohol and drugs.
Make sure to get enough sleep. It doesn’t have to be 8-10 hours but having a good, restful sleep is enough.
And if you are someone with pre-existing condition, always get in touch with your doctor and do not stop medication.
Here are some positive things I learned during this pandemic:
Time with Family or loved ones is PRECIOUS. Every moment spent with them should never be taken for granted. I know spending almost all the time with them could sometimes turn into a burnout, but trust me, there is no other time than now to be close with them. We had our fast-paced lives then. Universe tells us to slow down.
Be grateful for everything that you have. The food you have on your table, the privilege to binge-watch movies with a great internet connection, a place to sleep, and the life that you are living that is free of any illness.
Health is Wealth (like, seriously) Each of us are accountable for the lives of others so we have to be healthy ourselves.
Learn how togo with the flow of life. It is not always how we pictured it to be, but we always hope for better days. We will never know when we are declared free of this virus worldwide, but we need to have hopeful hearts. Isn’t it wonderful to wake up one day and you will witness the breakthrough everyone’s been waiting for and you are just grateful that God never left you and brought you alive and healthy to this day?
I encourage you to find new strengths during these trying times and offer any support you can to every being. This world needs more love and gentleness more than ever. Stay sane, safe and healthy 💖
If you wish to donate, here’s a link to WHO’s Solidarity Response Fund. You can also help in providing more resources like food and supplements by coordinating with your local government unit.
Woke up feeling heavy again
Help, before I lose it all
The pain you caused me like arrows
They pierced right through my headI hope I'll be fine tomorrow
'Cause things are jaded again
Take my hand and drag me out
Let's run with our eyes closed
~A.Fatih
Play the piano again for me, darling
One last time before I go to sleep
You always leave me hanging
Always keeping me awake
Play the keys and make me dream
But instead you're at the seams
It's unfair you are always tired
Knocked out on your bed again
~A. Fatih
My post may contain affiliate links! If you buy something through one of those links, you won’t pay a penny more but I’ll get a small commission, thanks! 😊
Thoughts are like storms and we never know how to tame it.
And to someone experiencing heavy episodes of depression and anxiety, they see nothing but chaos and confusion.
If you are having a hard time getting yourself motivated, especially during these times like getting out of bed or doing something you used to do, do not worry. I feel the same way too. Depression kills that light in you but we have to remember that in darkness, the light glows even brighter than before.
It may sometimes feel like loneliness has been a part of you that can never be taken away because you got used to it. It could also feel like something is missing if we try to get rid of it and push it out of our system like a kind of sin. Now it is a part of who you are. We would be playing games with ourselves if we try to pretend about something we are not.
I know it never goes away. Because I too, have moments of loneliness and it very much likely welcomes me and it feels like home. But you have to know this, accepting your situation and convincing yourself that you will not stay there forever is a great way to set your mind to not feel stuck anymore.
Find a perfect balance between the low points and the high points. I encourage you to act on what you truly feel with the hope of making your day better than yesterday. So, without further ado, I would like to share with you some tips on how I crawled my way back to existence.
1. As much as possible, Avoid isolation.
It may seem a very difficult thing to do especially when you’re an introvert like me. I want to keep things to myself most of the time and the worst part, I shut people out. I just don’t feel like we connect on the same level so I end up being alone most of the time.
But I realized that I can’t be an island forever. I have to try and talk to people, thinking it could help me. I have to at least let people know that they can talk to me.
You can start slow with this. If you are living with somebody, spend time with them. Watching a show or sharing meals could be a good start. Don’t just stay in your own safe place too much ’cause, as they say, too much of anything is never good.
They could be a great support system to guide you every step of your healing. Also, bear in mind that they should have a mental space for you to open up so it won’t feel like you’re being too much for them. Setting up healthy boundaries on both ends should be considered.
2. Watch a movie or Listen to your favorite music
It could be a docuseries or a century-old movie, watching a flick that sparks your interest could totally get your mind off things. Just make sure it is not a possible trigger for your emotions.
From the Movie “Before Sunrise”
Music is a guaranteed miracle worker. It could help you with anything. From finishing that 10 minute run in the treadmill to getting comfort from being anxious in your daily commute, listening to music could help you get through another day.
I have a very long list of bands that I listen to whenever I feel really anxious and unmotivated. Nowadays, I mostly listen to binaural beats or “healing frequencies” like BrainAuram and Soundheal. It helps me to stay grounded.
3. Try something new in the kitchen
Trying out that recipe you found on YouTube could be a good idea for a distraction. The act of creating something feels therapeutic even when you are not a pro. Tasty shares a lot of them. 😉
Don’t be too hard on yourself. You could try less complicated recipes with a few ingredients needed. Being in the kitchen also helps in boosting your appetite and encourage you to have good nutrition that improves your mental health.
Whenever my head is clouded with thoughts, I just let it be. And when I get the chance to process them, I write them down or draw them.
Writing down what goes on in my head helps me to get past it. The paper could be like your therapist if you are not able to set an appointment at this time or you are not ready to see one yet.
BestSelf Self Planner
BestSelf Self Journal
I suggest you try getting one of these. BestSelf has a lot of Journals and Inspirational cards to choose from. They have self-help journal that is ideal for someone who wants to plan out their every day agenda and ideas in a less messy, aesthetically pleasing way. Their journals are helpful to combat procrastination and it is not dated so there’s no pressure.
Their inspirational decks are interesting too! Just like the Intimacy deck for partners to connect more, Icebreaker deck for discussion ideas and to get to know someone better.
Doodling or painting is good to relieve some tension too. I am not good at making a portrait of anything but I like to make patterns and lines repetitively. According to research, drawing lines, shapes and patterns help in reducing stress and anxiety levels.
Now, this is easier said than done but really, it is a tough job to do. Resilience is a lot of hard work. It takes a great amount of understanding every circumstance, every being, every little thing so it won’t get in your head. Past traumas could get in the way with a simple trigger that happened moments ago.
Taking the Art of Resilience into consideration could change your life little by little. It’s okay to feel everything right now. I know it’s crippling but you have to fight it, with all your might, to not let it consume you.
6. Play an instrument
If you know how to play any instrument but your thoughts drowned out all the interest, then you might want to give it a shot. It doesn’t have to make sense. Just play anything.
But if you are someone who doesn’t play any, maybe it’s time you give it a shot too. It is fulfilling to learn something new.
7. Invite happiness and positivity in
I usually do some decluttering at night in my room and rearranging them in different positions like a total makeover. This gives me an indication of a new beginning, a whole new chance to try again.
You could do small things to let positivity in, willingness is a great factor towards healing. Things like letting the light and fresh air into your room or treating yourself to some warm baths with lovely smelling candles, or munch on a big pint of your favorite ice cream.
Always remember that happiness is always there, you just have to allow it and let it into your system and learn to curb negative thoughts.
8. Reminisce on old photos
I like looking at old photos. The ones that are in physical albums – yes, the big chunky albums. It feels like I’m being taken back to that exact same moment and the scent of the photo paper contributes to it.
I think we don’t cherish the old times more than we do these days where we could just take the phone out and take as many pictures as we like, unlike before. Just make sure it would not possibly be a trigger for you to look at old photos and old memories.
It could be a classic game or something that you could just easily download through your phone. Playing a game surely helps you get the good streak going. I suggest you go for something that is fun or relaxing to play and less violent or disturbing.
I usually play simulation games like The Sims because it feels like I am in total control of my life when I play it.
10. Breathe and Calm your mind
Meditation has definitely helped me in my darkest of times. It is peaceful and suggestive of living in the moment without judgment. Although, it is quite hard because I easily get distracted so I do only a few minutes a day.
There are many meditation techniques and audios everywhere on the internet and you’re not even sure if you’re doing it right. Youtube has a wide variety of techniques and I am confused about which I should choose that I end up sleeping on most of them.
Meditation should be done properly to get the desired results. And I am so glad that I found one after years of comparing each and every meditation approaches online.
Live and dare offer courses that are optimal for every individual who has difficulty in keeping that focus during meditation. The courses are tailor-made according to how you want your meditation style should be.
They are a no-fuss, straight to the point, awesome meditation program. 😍
If you want to give them a shot, you could join here
Yoga is also a good way to put the stress and anxiety into movement. It may look easy though, but the slow movements could sometimes keep you off balance. But with patience, it’s really rewarding. I use Keep to take my yoga sessions anywhere and it’s free!
The brain is a very strange and complex organ and I always want to know more about what it can do. Self-hypnosis might be a strange thing to do but it is only ineffective to someone who is skeptical.
eHypnosis has hundreds of self-hypnosis tracks to choose from. Any issue you have, they could help you with it. You just have to be open-minded and less defensive for it to work.
All you have to do is pick a space where you feel relaxed and safe, and then listen to your desired file on eHypnosis. You can do it anytime you want and there is no hypnotist required.
There is nothing wrong with treating yourself. Depression has put guilt in our hearts and made us feel like we don’t deserve better, but we do! Take your Mental health seriously and accept that where you are right now, isn’t where you’ll always be and always stay hopeful. I hope I have been helpful in sharing with you tips on how I coped and fought my battles in small ways. 💖💖💖
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and see not the physical self but like, your spirit-self? Confusing, right? There would be a time where I feel so much of my energy and it would totally affect my day. Seeing myself in the mirror could either wake me or break me. And by staring closely, it would feel like there is something more to this body than just the physical or worldly aspect.
I have spent so much time alone with myself that I kind of know what I would allow in my circle. We may not know what we want exactly but we do know at the exact moment what to accept or not. We all have gifts that we might not be aware of. These gifts are what bring us to the path of freedom from what society has taught us. Would you really think that this life is all about money, fame, or power? Is life really about the things that you see or touch?
I think everything that we experience in this lifetime is essential for us to know ourselves as beings. In everything that we encounter we should ask ourselves, “What is this trying to teach me?” Take for example the habit of people judging others. We may not be fully aware of it most of the time but we do judge one another. Good or bad judgment. Our actions reflect what we are and the issues we need to resolve in ourselves.
Each being is a manifestation. It teaches us greatly about our journey here on earth. You can’t expect everyone to be exactly like you. The way you dress, how you look, what they eat, how they walk, et cetera. We are our Creator’s thoughts and manifestations. So, we have to look closely and consciously understand our thoughts and actions. The more I exist on this planet, the more I should practice a great understanding of every being. I learned to be more gentle, compassionate, and loving. I always questioned my existence and I know being here isn’t only just about what everyone thinks living is – A predestined path you have to go through, Eat – Work – Sleep – Repeat. Open your mind to what possibilities you can achieve and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Mental health has been one of the popular topics being talked about these days. From battling the stigma through community support or simply expressing deepest emotions through art, to self-help videos, articles, books, and testimonies on how to survive your darkest days. Everything is online yet the world is still not close to being open with it.
We all have to be reminded that this thing behind our pretty faces is an organ too. And just like every other organ, it could fail to function. That’s why we have people who sacrificed years of understanding the brain. And yes, it’s still frowned upon when you need to have an appointment with a Psychiatrist.
Seeing a psychiatrist is never a bad idea. Taking medications to ease up the attacks is absolutely fine. What is not fine is the fact that people expect you to always be at your best self mentally. We are not robots. We could be at our happiest and be at our lowest in an instant and seeking help should always be an option.
I remember being at work and everything feels like death to me. Or I’m the one that’s dead. I couldn’t be so sure. But, it felt like every waking moment was dreadful. Like I’m in a constant loop. You fake a smile here and there and act like you are perfectly fine but inside you’re not.
The war inside your head intensifies each and every day and there’s no escape. You try to tell the people close to you hoping they would understand but they just walk away. They always walk away. And you start to ask yourself, “Will I ever find a way to get out of this?”
I have watched series and movies that share my emotions, wishing I’d feel understood. Fortunately, it did help at times. Watching Effy in Skins and how Freddie would save her was something I wished would be like for me.
I wanted someone to always save me from my own chaos. But people aren’t always like that. I had to think nobody loved me like that to do something so selfless. So, as always I had to pick myself up. Keep everything to myself ’cause its safer that way.
My loneliness affected my relationships. They did not understand what it was like to live in a big empty hole. Or maybe, we just didn’t share the same thing in that relationship. But I mean, when you love someone you try to understand them, right? No matter how hard it is to try and squeeze the answers out of them.
The problem is, I didn’t know the answers to my own questions. I didn’t know who I was. Loving someone truly means knowing how to love yourself first, but how do you love someone you don’t know? I didn’t want to give up on myself no matter how many times others did.
So on I went to keep living. The world just kept on testing me on how long I would take it. I spent most of my time in my own little world. Making art out of music. Being alone isn’t so bad, really. But there are times where you long to be with someone just to feel alive, to feel normal.
Breaking into tears for no reason and to constantly divert your emotional pain into something physical is never fun. One day, I decided to seek the best possible way to solve everything. I finally had the courage to book an appointment with a Psychiatrist.
She made sure I was comfortable telling everything and tried to untangle my thoughts, pointed out the reasons why I was feeling the way I did, prescribed my medications to help me make my days lovelier. The immense emotional pain from the traumas I went through has shut me out from the world and the worse, from myself.
Now I have to act accordingly. I admit the journey to healing was never easy. You thought it was the end of all the suffering but honestly, it was just the beginning.
Photo by Jonah Ciano
“Your healing depends on you.” I have to remind myself of this every day. The way I react to everything will affect what I’m going to be afterwards. I am careful now how I accept things.
My mental health depends on how my reaction to every problem presented to me will be. Being diagnosed with Clinical depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder put things in order for me somehow. I didn’t just rely on medications. I found other ways like meditation, physical activity like running, doing things that spark joy in me, and also yoga.
Music has been really helpful for me especially when I’m having my anxiety attacks and I don’t just want to rely on medications. Listening to Binaural beats like BrainAuram and Soundheal and Isochronic tones helped me to stay calm.
I started with small steps and set up a goal to get through every routine. This journey helped me to be more closer to my beliefs and it changed my perception of everything.
To everyone who is on the same journey, don’t rush. Have faith that you’ll get through this and everything you do towards healing, it’s not bad to acknowledge yourself. A war is won every day, every time you try and live another day.
Do something you love today. It could be something small or simple. It is how your heart feels that’s important. We have to live through our feelings because what we allow into our system gives a great impact on our lives.
You could never truly measure a person’s worth unless they’re gone. I had my fair share in dealing with these types of loss. May it be a loss from death, or a break – up or someone who ghosted me. Let’s face it. At this day and age, people just come and go as they please and you just have to be okay with it (though I know it’s never okay) and all your invested emotions are just right out of the window, never to be dealt with again. But this loss of a loved one or someone over death is painful and beautiful at the same time. Losing them and knowing you can never have small talks or have coffee with them, the loud laughs over a silly thing from years ago or, to just simply hold their hand is absolutely a stab in the heart. But the beautiful thing is, when you come to think of it, each one of us is going to die. It is just absolutely sad that they had to go first and you are all that’s left to face this world. Maybe their page in the book has ended. Or they’ve accomplished what they had to in this life. Either way, they’ve brought more joy and love in this lifetime and we’ll always be grateful for them. Moving on is always the ugly, most especially the hardest part but we have to endure the process. We have no better way than to move forward. Death is inevitable. Its inevitability should push us to make our mornings better for ourselves and everyone else. It should make us realize to not take anyone and anything for granted. Losing someone makes us regret it. How many more losses should we all have before we realize someone’s worth? Life’s uncertainty scares me for the people I care about the most and for the things I haven’t done yet. So, tell her how much she means to you. Return your uncle’s calls. Tell your mother you are going to visit her soon. I know that heart’s not that cold. It’s never too late to feel love and be loved in return.
moonchild heroine 